My Ticket to Fame and Fortune

Robyn invited us out to see New York Liberty play Atlanta Dream. She’s had season passes since the powers-that-be decided ladies could play basketball. Despite still reeling from legitimately having the swine flu, I went—and surprise! I didn’t regret it.

I’ve been to a number of professional sporting events, but I’ve never actually seen the team I’m supporting (inasmuch as I can support a sports team) win. Robyn warned us that Liberty was having its worst year, but that didn’t stop us from seeing the Braves play multiple times, so …

Robyn, I think, saw me wantonly eyeing all of the cotton candy vendors, and she bought me this massive bag of cotton candy intended for a family. I felt like I was on a really great date … with my husband watching. Anyway, it involved yellow, blue, and pink. Madison Square Garden vendors do not make you choose.

The thing came with one of those big, floppy Dr. Seuss hats emblazoned with New York Liberty logos. I set about killing that candy. Jason promptly put on the hat.

Then, because he was in costume, he became a hardcore New York Liberty fan, and it was on.

There’s an adult dance troupe that performs at many games called The Timeless Torches. The Timeless Torches weren’t performing, unfortunately, but they had a representative in the crowd. In times of great courage and despair, this guy dances on camera for the benefit of the crowd. He danced for us.

Robyn predetermined that Jason would end up on the Jumbotron. She caught the camera focusing on our section, and I roughly elbowed Jason in the ribs to get him to stand up and dance. The benefit of marrying an extrovert is that I can usually talk him into doing things for the amusement of myself and others. Things that I would perhaps like to do, maybe, but wouldn’t … at least things that I would like to see someone else do.

He danced his heart out and then suddenly, as if by magic, he was involved in a Madison Square Garden dance-off with an older gentleman pro.

We sometimes have one song Comcast Music Choice dance parties in our apartment if the ’90s channel is playing something really appropriate. That, I think, and Jason’s history of finding himself in the middle of dance offs, prepared him for the moment.

The crowd was going crazy. I was carried by the spirit of the music when I stood up, and swine flu bootie danced with him. The lights flashed onto me, and the crowd started screaming. People really appreciate big girl booty at a WNBA game. It’s just celebrated in the way that I wish it were celebrated every day of my life.

The dance off completely wore him out, but he continued to wear that hat so proudly.

On our way to the parking garage, we were stopped by people asking for autographs. Jason got more than one, “Are you that one guy?” Even a whole bus of people cheered us on. One girl said, “It’s about time someone battled that guy!” A few people said he won … but I don’t know if that’s exactly fair, because there was a big age difference.

There isn’t much more that you can ask for out of life than for someone to ask you if you’re that one guy.