July 2009
10 posts
1 tag
"Bust Your Windows" - Our Anthem
A few months ago I attended the bachelorette party of a dear friend. When the bride arrived and saw I wasn’t with Jason, she insisted that I call him and make him come.
We were wholly unprepared for Jazmine Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows.” Neither of us—as the only white people in attendance—had ever heard the song, but every girl at the party knew all of the...
1 tag
Found: Hans' Stash
My dachshund Hans steals gum, candy, cough drops, mints, tissues, lip balm, etc. from my purse and Jason’s backpack. We find refuse at random in the bedroom, but tonight I found the motherload — Hans’ stash.
I noticed a wrapper underneath the bed while changing the sheets, so I got down on all fours to pick it up. From there, I saw a treasure trove of mint-flavored artifacts....
I cannot attend your wedding if you have it on my...
It would be a lie for me put on a party dress, buy you a gift, and act as if it it’s your special day.
I won’t be able to celebrate your anniversary either.
Dance Tonight
Going to see Paul McCartney tonight at Citi Field, but July 21 is apparently New York City’s Monsoon Season. I think we’re going to have to invest in a couple of ponchos.
Am a bit concerned about being an 11PM news story on the fan who was almost-fatally struck-by-lightning, but lived to tell about it with all of the neurological mannerisms of that guy from the Great Outdoors.
Also...
All of the Cops in New York City are Gathering...
a.) They’ve finally figured out what I’m up to.
b.) They’re excited about all of the Tim Hortons that are opening up here.
c.) Obama’s speaking right nearby tonight.
It’s C!
2 tags
Jon Gosselin Won't Let Me Stop Caring
Jon Gosselin is OUT OF CONTROL.
I would like to be above this, but I just can’t stop myself from loving it. He may or may not be engaged to the 22-year-old daughter of the plastic surgeon who did Kate Gosselin’s free-of-charge tummy tuck.
You can’t be serious. But Jon Gosselin, THANK YOU for rocking my world with your inability to absorb anything from what should be...
1 tag
3 tags
That One Guy on the Jumbotron
Robyn invited us out to see New York Liberty play Atlanta Dream. She’s had season passes since the powers-that-be decided ladies could play basketball. Despite still reeling from legitimately having the swine flu, I went—and surprise! I didn’t regret it.
I’ve been to a number of professional sporting events, but I’ve never actually seen the team I’m supporting...