My Ticket to Fame and Fortune

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Go fuck yourself, Howard Stern.

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permalink Next Christmas, I want a sensory album that illustrates my most awkward 1990s teenage romantic fumblings.

Next Christmas, I want a sensory album that illustrates my most awkward 1990s teenage romantic fumblings.

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permalink In honor of the Oscars … from the 23rd Street Subway.

In honor of the Oscars … from the 23rd Street Subway.

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?

This week, on two separate occasions, I heard the word “ask” used as a noun. This is the first time in my life, corporate or otherwise, that I’ve heard this.

One person said: “We think this is a pretty big ask.” The other said: “We’re trying to figure out the ask on this.”

It’s so bizarre. There are many other perfectly serviceable actual-noun-options available. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “request.”

I’m hoping this doesn’t become a thing.

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Too Much

julieklausner:

You know you’ve ordered too much sushi when the lady at the register asks you how many pairs of chopsticks you’ll be needing. Related: my extremely relatable “You know you’ve ordered too much sushi when…” comedy routine will eclipse Jeff Foxworthy’s career.

The last time we ordered Chinese (for ourselves and one visiting friend), the delivery person asked if we were having a party.

(We were. A General Tso’s party. All by ourselves.)

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permalink Are you serious, lady on the PATH train? You are going to sit as close to me as humanly possible during a 20 minute commute and you are going to proceed to slowly eat what smells like the best McDonald’s hashbrown potato cake that has ever potato caked? Are you seriously savoring that thing right beside me after I’ve had egg whites and an orange for breakfast?
Oh hot, crispy buttery hashbrown potato cake. You do it to me every time.

Are you serious, lady on the PATH train? You are going to sit as close to me as humanly possible during a 20 minute commute and you are going to proceed to slowly eat what smells like the best McDonald’s hashbrown potato cake that has ever potato caked? Are you seriously savoring that thing right beside me after I’ve had egg whites and an orange for breakfast?

Oh hot, crispy buttery hashbrown potato cake. You do it to me every time.

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Today may have ended on a bad note, but at least it started off strong with a reunion from the cast of 227.

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permalink Pure laziness, New Jersey Public Television.

Pure laziness, New Jersey Public Television.

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Big Love

Last night I had a dream that I was on Big Love. For whatever reason, Nicky was chasing after me on foot. I hid in the backseat of a car, and she set the thing on fire. I managed to get out just in time, but what. a. crazy. bitch.

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